Sem. Christopher Arado, Jr.

It’s strange how prayer works.

I know, I should do it, but I don’t know the best way to do it. Is it really as simple as having a casual conversation with Jesus? Or should I stick to the formal prayers I learned as child? Is it something I do all by myself, making up my own words and voicing all of my needs in the hopes that someone “up there” will smile down on me? Or is it all up to God, and all I can do is take deep breaths and try to stop thinking while I look at a crucifix? Is it enough to just say “Hail Mary” over and over on our rosary beads, or do I have to spend hours on each decade, waiting for new information about each of the mysteries I am thinking about?

Since October is usually the month of the Rosary and, by extension, prayer, I thought I’d look at the simple act of praying. I want to learn how to pray better and with more passion, and I also want to find out how Jesus might want to change my life through prayer.

I will start by looking at how the Bible talks about prayer in general, paying close attention to very words of St. Paul. Then I will look at how Jesus prayed, and then I will look at how our Blessed Mother prayed. My goal is not only to find out how each person prayed, but also to learn from them.

Prayer is where wisdom and understanding come from. Paul liked to pray a lot. “Keep praying,” he told the Colossians (4:2). He told the people of Thessalonica to “pray always” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). He told the Ephesians to “pray in the Spirit every chance you get” (6:18). Paul’s passionate pleas show how important prayer was to him, not just for himself but for everyone. If I look more closely at what Paul said about prayer, I can see that he thought it was one of the best ways to understand the mysteries of God and the mysteries of our own lives.

Paul prayed that the Colossians would be “full of the knowledge of God’s will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Colossians 1:9). Paul was sure that the knowledge and wisdom we gain through prayer would seep into the rest of our lives and give us the drive we need “to live in a way worthy of the Lord,” a way of life that is “fully pleasing” to God (1:10). Paul thought that this was the only way to serve the Lord and get his strength and power.

A person who doesn’t have the Holy Spirit, can’t understand what the Spirit is doing. Paul goes so far as to say that the ways of God aren’t much more than “foolishness” for a “natural person” (1 Corinthians 2:14).

The power of the spirit comes from revelation. Paul thought that prayer works in two ways that are closely connected. On the other hand, prayer gives us access to God’s grace, which helps us see things from his point of view. Paul asked God to give the Ephesians “a spirit of wisdom and revelation that leads to a knowledge of him.” He prayed, “May the eyes of your hearts be opened” because of this (1:17-18). He knew that their hearts needed to be “enlightened” if they wanted to know how to live right.

St. Paul also knew that revelation alone was not enough. He knew that the grace we get when we pray has the power of heaven to help us do what we know Jesus wants us to do. “Don’t worry about anything,” he told the Philippians. “In everything, pray and ask God for what you need, and do it with thanksgiving” (4:6). “The one who started a good work in you will finish it until the day of Christ Jesus,” Paul told the Philippians (1:6). All they had to do was stay in touch with him so they could get the grace they needed to do what he wanted them to do.

Prayer isn’t the last option. It’s not what we do after reading self-help books, or surfing the Internet. Prayer is how we stay in touch with God. This is why Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you” (Matthew 6:33). That’s why he said, “Come to me, all you who work hard and are burdened, and I will give you rest” (11:28).

Why is it so hard to pray? We think Jesus really existed. We think that he is in the Eucharist. We believe that everyone who is baptized is a “temple of God” and that God’s Spirit lives in us (1 Corinthians 3:16). We think prayer is an important part of our Christian lives. So why is it so hard for me to pray, and why do I sometimes forget to pray when I try? Maybe here are some possibilities:

Am I no longer with my first love? In the Book of Revelation, Jesus tells the Christians in Ephesus, “I know your works, your labor, and your endurance. You haven’t gotten tired. Still, I hold this against you: you’ve lost the love you had at first” (2:2-4).

These words tell us that we can work very hard for the kingdom of God and still lose our love for the One for whom we are working. People Jesus was talking to in this passage were active members of church, but they had forgotten what their faith was all about: to love Jesus.

How easy it is that my faith to become something I do because I have to. How easy it is to lose the love I once had for Jesus. It’s like a couple who has been married for a while and has let the responsibilities of work, raising children, and being involved in the community get in the way of the love they once had.

Am I putting things in the wrong order? Even though it’s an old saying, it’s still true: how I spend my time shows what’s important to me. Jesus told a story about people who had been invited to a party but didn’t show up (Luke 14:16-24). One person who was invited chose to check on his properties instead. Another person wanted to see his new pair of oxen. And the third one had just gotten married and was too busy with that. All three of them let their own interests, even if they were good and necessary, keep them from seeing how great the invitation was.

Where do I put God’s invitation on our list of most important things? Jesus doesn’t want our half-hearted prayers, or our free time. He wants us to take him up on his offer and make him our top priority. Even though this world has real demands and responsibilities, that doesn’t mean we can ignore Jesus’ invitation.

Every day, Jesus wants to spend good time with us. When I say, I are too busy for him, I are really saying that my relationship with him is not a top priority.

I’m having trouble praying? Dry prayer makes me feel down. It can make me wonder about my faith or even about God. At one time in their history, the Israelites seemed to have had a similar attitude. God had this to say about them through his prophet: “They look for me every day and want to know my ways. They ask me for my honest opinions. “Why do we fast, but you don’t see it?” We’re in pain, but you don’t care?’” (Isaiah 58:2-3). Like the Israelites, I can say to Jesus, “I try to stay away from sin and do good. I’ve always been true to you. But you haven’t answered me yet.”

The problem with these Israelites, and it may be the same with me, was that they did what they wanted even though they took part in the religious ceremonies of ancient Israel (Isaiah 58:3). Maybe, like the Israelites, I don’t get much out of prayer because I am not as open to God as I think I am. Maybe I are too sure of what I want to do with my life and not very interested in what God may be calling me to do.

James said, “You ask but don’t get because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions” (4:3). Jesus wants me to come to him with heart that are clean and lowly. He wants me to tell him, “Jesus, I want what you want, and I will do what you say. I don’t want my way to be better than yours.”

On the other hand, when prayer seems to be going nowhere, God may be asking me to trust him more. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, had doubts about God. Zechariah didn’t believe in God. Thomas didn’t believe Jesus. When I have doubts, I often feel dry. But the solution to prayerlessness isn’t to stop praying. On the contrary, the best thing I can do is keep going, knowing that if I hold on to our hope until the end, I will make progress.

Trusting Jesus is the very best solution. Jesus taught us, “All that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours” (Mark 11:24). Jesus wants me to know that he will answer our prayers because he wants to lead me in every way. I believe Jesus will answer me no matter how long it takes. His own life shows that this is true.